Learning to Love You More - for Kids

Launched in 2002, the Learning to Love You More project is both a web site archive (it's no longer actively archiving) and series of non-web presentations comprised of work made by the general public in response to 70 assignments given by artists Miranda July and Harrell Fletcher. In 2005, I saw the LLYM show at Bumbershoot and was impressed by these ordinary yet odd, sincere, lovely and goofy responses. Completely inspiring, raw and full of humanity. I did a few of the assignments after seeing the show (take a flash photo under your bed), but lost steam soon after (my results felt shallow and lackluster). I came across the site again recently and thought these assignments would be excellent summer projects for the kids. 

Here are 10 assignments I'm asking the kids to try:

Assignment #1 Make a neighborhood field recording.
Go from door to door and ask at least four neighbors to sing a song or play one on an instrument. Record their song. Also take a photograph of each neighbor, sitting or standing in their home or yard, with their instrument, if they played one. Give each piece an audio caption: "Sam Looly, my neighbor to the right." You can add information that you think is pertinent, but never forget that you are a professional and do not steal the show with your own antics. Your job is to catalogue the songs of your neighbors.


Assignment #2
Photograph a scar and write about it
Photograph a scar on your body or on someone else's body. Make it a close-up shot so that it shows just the scar. Include a story about how the scar happened.



Assignment #3
Take a picture of the sun
Take a picture of the sun. Just a picture of the sun, nothing extra or fancy. Please make sure the sun is visible in the photo, we won't accept reflections of the sun or photos where the sun is not visible. Please be careful not to look directly at the sun through your camera's viewfinder; looking directly at the sun could damage your eyes. If you need to, just point the camera towards the sun and shoot the photo.


Assignment #4
Make a video of someone dancing
Make a video of someone dancing to DJ Brokenwindow's Don't Dream It's Over dance mix. We asked DJ Brokenwindow to make a dance mix of "Don't Dream It's Over" (by Crowded House.) 

Assignment #5
Act out someone else's argument
Choose an argument and act it out with a friend or relative. Memorize your lines and make it as real as possible. When you are ready, videotape the argument. This can be done with the camera on a tripod, or with a third person shooting. It should be shot as simply as possible. Make sure the voices of both people can be heard clearly. Do not shoot any titles or credits, only the argument itself


Assignment #6
Take a picture of your parents kissing
Take a picture of your parents kissing (or at least hugging). Do not send us an older picture of your parents, we are looking for a new picture taken specifically for this assignment.


Assignment #7
Describe your ideal government
Describe in a paragraph or two how your ideal government would function.


Assignment #8
Give advice to yourself in the past
Sure everything turned out ok, but maybe you should have quit that job five years earlier, maybe you should have had children when you were 27, maybe you should have flossed, maybe you should have gone to the alternative high school, or not said that thing to your best friend. Tell yourself what to do in clear, specific language. Do not write an essay, make it in list form.


Assignment #9
Make a protest sign and protest
Make a protest sign and publicly protest something that you deeply and sincerely feel needs to be changed. It could be the mistreatment of chickens at KFC or the lack of rights for children in our society. You can protest alone, with a group that you assemble or with a pre-existing protest group.

Assignment #10
Take a family portrait of two families
Go to a park, beach or other public place and locate two separate families who are having a picnic or barbeque. Ask the two families to join together so that you can take a group picture of them. Try to find two families who don't know each other and who look different from each other.

What Do You Wish You'd Learned as a Kid?

As a parent, I want to give my kids rich, diverse life experiences. I want them to be passionate and find things they love. I saw this post, what do you wish you'd learned as a kid? and most of the responses were skill based: cooking, sewing, woodworking, fluency in another language, gardening, how to play an instrument, how to fix a bike, how to save money...

I had opportunities to learn most of the above skills, of course I can't say that I mastered any of them.

Here is my list of skills that I wish I'd learned/had been taught as a kid:

- how to practice active listening
- how to practice critical thinking
- how to turn moods around by changing my thought patterns
- how to practice good time management
- how to not be intimidated by anyone
- how to listen to my body and make healthy diet/exercise choices
- how to live with long term perspective

Good Sportsmanship

Elliot needed a few reminders at his soccer game on Saturday about the rules of good sportsmanship. Thought these were great pointers for cultivating a good attitude overall and playing sports with dignity and grace.

Sportsmanship is defined as:

• playing fair
• following the rules of the game
• respecting the judgment of referees and officials
• treating opponents with respect

Tips for practicing sportsmanship:

• Learn as much as you can about your sport. Play by its rules. Show up for practice, work hard, and realize that on a team, everyone deserves a chance to play.
• Talk politely and act courteously toward everyone before, during, and after games and events. That includes your teammates, your opponents, your coaches and their coaches, the officials presiding over the game, and even spectators (who can sometimes be loud about their opinions).
• Stay cool. Even if others are losing their tempers, it doesn't mean you have to. Remind yourself that no matter how hard you've practiced and played, it is, after all, just a game.
• Avoid settling disputes with violence. If you're in a difficult situation or someone's threatening you, seek help immediately from your coach or from an official. Remember, too, that if you respond with violence you could get penalized, which could hurt your chances of winning.
• Cheer your teammates on with positive statements — and avoid trash-talking the other team.
• Acknowledge and applaud good plays, even when someone on the other team makes them.
• When officials make a call, accept it gracefully even if it goes against you. Remember that referees may not be right every time — but they're people who are doing their best, just as you are.
• Whether you win or lose, congratulate your opponents on a game well played.

Low Tide at Carkeek Park

Low tide meant that we got to sneak a peek at the exotic creatures usually under a blanket of sea. Some of my favorites: Sea Lettuce, Sugar Kelp, Turkish Towel, Aggregating Anemone, Moonglow Anemone, Sunflower Star, Gunnels, Purple Sea Star, Sea Lemon, Limpets, Frilled Dog Whelk, Periwinkles, and Moonsnail. Also, I finally saw a Geoduck - Gooeyduck.

Rock Climbing Elliot

Liam held his 7th birthday at the stone gardens rock climbing gym. Elliot took to rock climbing like a fish to water. Fearless, he scrambled up to the top then pushed off the wall like a crab on the way down. Rock climbing summer camp?

Family Films

In 1976, my mom took me to see Freaky Friday at the Picwood Theatre (I must have been 5), the mother/daughter storyline thrilled me and I was completely blown away by the big screen / big theater experience. Elliot has seen a few movies in the theater over the past few years, but Asher who could care less about TV (The Wild Thornberrys Movie is his sole exception) had never seen a big screen movie. We took the boys to see Alvin and the Chipmunks in December and the outing was a huge success. Asher sat through the whole movie. Both kids loved the chipmunk music and laughed continuously; my expectations were low, but I actually enjoyed it a little.

We were excited to see the Dr. Seuss movie Horton Hears a Who, which just released this weekend, so we swept the gang over to the theater this rainy afternoon expecting a repeat of the Chipmunks coup. However, Asher was not amused. The animation held little draw for him and he shouted, "When is this movie going to be over?" about ten minutes into the movie. So Danny ended up buying two bags popcorn throughout the movie to entertain Asher and escorted him out of the theater when he forgot his quiet voice. Good times! But Asher was right, the film was awful. The story was hard to follow, it was talky, unfunny and full of smirky pop culture references. It was boring. Even Elliot thought it was dull. Too bad, the story has a good heart, much more integrity than the chipmunks movie.

Elliot Pics

Yellow Belt - KA-RA-TE

Elliot is testing for his Yellow Belt promotion on Monday. He's been doing karate in the Little Dragon program since September and it's been challenging for him to learn that sort of discipline. But he's into it now and I think he really wants this yellow belt. The karate school sent a form home and to his teacher at school asking us to rate his general behavior, listening ability and self control. He has his moments but karate has been good for his general disposition. Good luck Elliot!

Pumpkin Land

This year we decided we weren't up for an hour long ride out to the country, so we drove up to the Fairbanks Animal and Pumpkin Farm in Edmonds. Fairbanks is small, not as majestic as Craven, Remlinger or Biringer Farms. There are no hayrides or vast corn mazes and they don't push hot apple cider, kettle corn or candy apples. Fine with me. The pumpkin selection was slim, but kids really liked the animal exhibits. We saw a mama rat nursing her 20 babies, watched hatching goslings, and fed the chickens, and goats.

The Skywalkers

Elliot's soccer team is called the Skywalkers in tribute to the most righteous Jedi warrior Luke (or is it a Native American reference?). This season we're going to be playing some fast cats (and dogs) - the Panthers (2 teams are named the Panthers), the Cheetahs, the Barncats, the Huskies. On Saturday, Wallingford Park hosted six simultaneous games for the under eight section of the Woodland Soccer League. Elliot's team consists of six first graders and only three play at a time, so it's a tight field of aggressive, sprinting boys pulsating on the field, locking together in a skirmish then dissolving onto the sidelines and clotting together again. I won't even ask him to do t-ball next year, soccer is so much more active and strategic. Elliot takes soccer very seriously. Each time he made a goal he looked at us to see if we were watching, but didn't smile or celebrate at all. When his grandpa and Dan cheered after a skirmish that ended up with the opposing team scoring (because it was a good play) Elliot took note and confronted them after the game. I was shocked by how fast and exciting the game turned out to be. Does this mean I've become a soccer mom?

Monorail Ride

Asher and Elliot are true public transportation aficionados, to them, a bus ride is like going to Disneyland (ok, almost). A few weeks ago we had a bus adventure to the U District farmer's market. On the way home we met a 3 day old baby, a man who gave Elliot a candy bar (thanks, but it went in the trash when we got home) and an old lady who thought Asher's red crocs were the bees knees, "Oh those are wonderful. Just wonderful."

Today the boys rode the monorail for the first time. Here is Asher's account of the adventure: "We waited for it to come. We had to go on the blue one. The red one was broken. We walked onto the monorail like this. We went in the tunnel like this, swish, and when it was done the train ride was over. The train ride was fun."

All of this talk about the monorail just makes me bitter. It's been nearly two years since the city smashed all dreams of having a city wide monorail. It was so close. We need high speed mass transit if we want to be a sophisticated, world class city that isn't permanently clogged up with traffic. RIP Seattle Monorail Project.

Pirate Camp

Ahoy! Here are Liam and Elliot in full pirate regalia. They spent the first week of July at the Dragonfire Pirate Camp on Vashon Island and did all sorts of piratey stuff.

The first day they tore up Elliot's clothes into pirate rags and as the week progressed, the rags became absolutely filthy with dirt, sand and mud. Each child was assigned a daily station -- lookout tower, cooks galley (Elliot had to make salads for the kids), sword making, looking for buried treasure (in a half buried ship). If you ask Elliot about the best part of summer so far he says, Wild Waves and pirate camp, Arrr, the best camp e'er!

Ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!

Snoqualmie Valley Railway

We drove up to visit the Northwest Railway Museum in Snoqualmie Falls today. We timed it just right and hopped on the hour long scenic railroad tour right after we arrived. Asher was ecstatic about riding on a train. We saw the diner where Twin Peaks was filmed from the train. Next time we'll have to stop in to get a piece of cherry pie in tribute to Agent Cooper.



Elliot, our keeper of family rituals, asked for the return visit, but I think it had less to do with the train and more to do with the Snoqualmie Candy Store (wall to wall candy and ice cream) that we ate at last time. The kids meal includes an ice cream, cheetos, apple juice and a piece of taffy. This time we also bought Elliot a gummy rat. He proudly showed it off to anyone who caught his eye, "This is Matt the Rat. He has an ear infection." And you're going to eat him? He held the rat all the way home and ate him before bed.

Look Ma, Two Wheels!

Our 4 year old neighbor took off his training wheels from his bike last week and Elliot said, "If Luke can do it, I can too." We took his training wheels off yesterday and with just a little push he was off racing down the sidewalk no sweat.

Maypole Dance

Victor and Roberta are considering moving into a cohousing community called Songaia in Bothell Washington. We think it's a cool ecologically sound idea. Everyone has their own house, but the group shares resources and responsibilities for meal preparation, grounds keeping, recycling, gardening, and community activities. We were thinking it would be cool to find an urban cottage community with progressive values but one that doesn't require as much intense community organization and responsibility, i.e. no meal sharing.

Yesterday we went to their Earth Day / May Day celebration. They planted roses, trees and held a maypole dance. Maypole has its origins in Scandanavia and Germany as fertility ritual (no surprise there); it's a nice community building way to celebrate the arrival of spring and summer. We wrapped ribbons around the pole until we were a clotted mess of people and couldn't move anymore.

Olympic Sculpture Park

Last weekend the Seattle Art Museum opened the Olympic Sculpture Park on the waterfront downtown. The kids and I went to the extremely packed grand opening - a shindig sponsored by Target - and raced around the park. At the entrance, the kids were enthralled by a team of men taking chain saws to ice and sculpting a huge orca-fantasm-in-the-arctic-waves creation. We enjoyed the free hot cocoa dispensed by Target employees who wore the canisters on their backs. And the endless Target swag - stuffed animals, bags, umbrellas....

The red Alexander Calder "Eagle" sculpture is the most striking piece in the park. Kids were dancing around it, shrieking and patting it. A great way for them to experience art. However, they had a docent standing there saying "please don't touch" the sculpture. I don't see how this can hold up. It's absurd, it's a steel outdoor sculpture, little hands would ocassionally drift across it or pat it, but they couldn't hurt it. If a kid was banging a toy or something on it, that makes sense, but I don't see how they can expect people not to touch it.

Anyway, the waterfront park area is beautiful, a huge grassy area and beach look like great summer picnic spots. I got really stressed out by the massive swarm of boys crawling over the huge jagged rocks and splintery beachwood hills on the beach. I tried to hold Asher back, but he was determined to join in the boy fest and I had to chapperone. The boys loved it, especially the trains that run right beside the park every 1/2 hour. Another good place for a boy adventure.

Reflections on Chrismukkah

Does Hanukkah get the short end of the winter holiday stick? Of course, how can it compete with the Christmas machine? Elliot said to me, "Mom, since I'm both Christian and Jewish, can we have some decorations at our house? Maybe we can put candy canes in our back yard." Ha! I love it.

He's right, we're out of the mainstream. He wants the big splash of giant evergreen trees and candy colored holiday lights. We don't celebrate Christmas at our house. We have no tree, no lights etc. We have a red winterberry wreath, but apparently that doesn't count. Not celebrating Christmas (at this point in their lives) is really the biggest Jewish identity builder our kids can have. I don't identify with Christianity and never have, so Christmas in my family is really just a winter family gathering. Hanukkah is our winter family gathering. I don't feel the need to have a tree or decorate. I'm sure Elliot will get it someday.

I love Jewish culture, I signed up to keep it alive and pass on that Jewish history / tradition / identity to our children as much we can in our crazy mixed up world. Since I was raised without any religious affiliation and neither were my parents or grandparents (philosophically/spiritually, certain aspects of paganism, renewal judaism, buddhism and unitarianism appeal to me) I like the feeling of having an actual religious cultural calendar (although we don't belong to a temple currently and I'll never be Jewish). We observe passover, the high holidays and hanukkah. The boys do occasional shabbat dinners with their grandparents.

Bessie asked me how do you get your Jewish husband to participate in Hanukkah? Having Grandma and Grandpa near helps. But we we read Hanukkah bedtime stories. We have a Hanukkah party every year and we light the menorah nightly (or we try to, it doesn't always work out). After several years of giving small presents for 8 days and dealing with Elliot crying every night because he wanted more, we decided to do the one big night of presents route (much more successful). I would like us to do one night of volunteering next year as well.

We do the Christmas thing with my family every other year and that's enough. I wonder if Elliot will miss it next year. I feel like I buy just as many presents either way, but it feels just a bit more sane. I have to be careful about how I pitch our LA Christmas, I caught myself saying, "Wait until we get to LA you'll get a lot of presents there." If we really want them to have a Jewish identity we'll have to join a temple.

Chrismukkah according to Wikipedia, has many meanings: the commercialization of Hanukkah, the hybrid holiday of Christmas and Hanukkah in interfaith heritage households, Christmas as celebrated by a Jewish household, and an ironic alternative winter holiday such as Festivus.

Ice Skating on New Year's Eve

Goodbye 2006. We spent the last day of the year ice skating at an outdoor rink with the boys and had a blast. Elliot was a natural. He wants to take ice skating lessons now. Who knew he had such great balance and strength?

Asher was frustrated by his inability to race around as usual, but he enjoyed being pulled around the rink by mom and dad. My arms feel like they're going to fall off now.

Disneyland

We were lucky enough to get free tickets to Disneyland this year (Thanks Chris!) so we thought it was about time for Asher to experience the Magic Kingdom. Michael, Britta and Grandma joined the crew and we had a surprisingly smooth trip, sans major breakdowns and tears.

Asher loved It's a Small World and all musical aspects of the park. Elliot was tall enough to go on all rides (how did that happen?) but we kept it mellow. He wasn't sure about Pirates of the Caribbean so we skipped it. We met another 5 year old boy at Tom Sawyer's Island (which is going to close soon) and they became fast friends running around the island caves and toured the rest of the park with us.

I made everyone eat in the French Quarter right next to some singing pirates so Elliot got a taste of the pirates experience. We saw Captain Jack Sparrow, Elliot's latest obsession. The menu at the cafe was disturbing, deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and deep fried grueyere cheese sandwhiches are just as bad as they sound. It took us forever to be served but the kids were entertained.

I think we left a minimal impact on the park, Grandma bought the boys pirates shirts and Elliot had to have a huge set of iron jailer's keys.

Here are my tips for visiting Disneyland:

1. Bring extra snacks and water
2. Eating at the theme restaurants is tolerable only if there is live entertainment
3. Don't go on ToonTown with a 3 year old (it's too scary)
4. Keep sugar consumption low (we had churros and salt water taffy - that was more than enough)

Pippi Longstocking Film Festival

Over the long Thanksgiving weekend we introduced the boys to the world's strongest person (not just the world's strongest girl - she's stronger than any man): Pippi Longstocking. We spent four days watching and rewatching the original 1974 films "Pippi Longstocking" and "Pippi in the South Seas." Elliot was sold immediately because Pippi is strong and smart and has a pet monkey. Asher we can assume was into Pippi because he said to us, "Quiet, it's European."

I'm happy to report that Pippi is just as strange and refreshing as I remembered. I was viewing her as a responsible adult and parent, yet she was still charming. She picks her nose, belches louder than any pirate and is probably the worst tea party guest ever. Pippi is rude and a little chaotic, but generous and full of integrity. She's a punk rock girl full of good cheer. Anything is possible, it's all about freedom, who cares if it's messy or not perfect.

I loved the flying bed and balloon scenes as a kid. What's better than waking up over the sparkling ocean in a warm, comfy bed and kicking back with a yummy sandwich for breakfast? I noticed that food plays an important part in the films, supporting my theory that food is a crucial ingredient to success in children's literature and film.

Interesting fact: according to Wikipedia Pippi's full name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Daughter Longstocking.