Snowing in Seattle

Another snow day! No school, no work. Fun, fun, fun. We woke up to 2 inches of snow and it continued throughout the morning. Elliot and I walked up to Zoka to get a pastry and coffee then spent an hour sledding down the hill on 58th street.

A Winter Story by Elliot Bremson

Snow, snow falling down, a girl catches a snowflake with her open mouth. The old man almost hits a little dog with his shovel.

A girl toppled a boy and smashed snow in his face. The strongest kid is named Nicky. He has red hair.

The winter birds ate the seeds Nicky gave to them. Flying in the air for three stories for you and me. The snow is beautiful. I like this snowflake over here, it looks like glass. Rain turns into snow. Nicky gave the birds lots of food, some were black dotted and yellow on top.

Nicky took time off with his own toys, the snow came. He was scared when his father tried to open the door, the door was frozen. Nobody could help them. Even though the snow goes away, he played in the snow in winter.

Fun fun for you and me. We go where we want to go. Snow snow, this is the best time of year. Snow snow let it fall. Even though I don't declare I'm at my winter fair. This is fun oh lots of things, we get to go ice skating on the winter swimming pool. I get to see water in the ice. This is a poem from 1985.

Parenting Resolutions

From Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach by Shari Steelsmith.

• Respond to your children more calmly. I make the point in my book, Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach, that your discipline has a much higher chance of succeeding if you do it without yelling, exasperated lecturing, or crying. Becoming emotional only tells your child that you’ve lost control—and given it to him or her. If you can discipline calmly, even dispassionately, you will dramatically increase your odds of success. Make use of deep breathing, time-outs (for yourself), and other relaxation techniques to help you keep a rein on your emotions. Planning ahead for what guidance technique you will use when the misbehavior appears again is also very useful for maintaining calm.
  
  
• Limit your child’s exposure to “screens.” This is a constant battle at my house— making sure the “screen time” doesn’t creep up past the day’s limit. Studies tell us that the less time a child spends watching TV, playing on the computer or X-box, or otherwise entertaining himself with screens, the better his achievement in school and his cooperation at home. When kids don’t use screens, they do things like read, play outside, ride bikes and participate in other wholesome activities.
  
  
• Have regular family dinners. I know, you’re thinking, “Duh.” But with all the extra-curricular activities in which we allow our children to participate, family dinnertime is often a casualty. It’s easy to let this get out of hand. Remember, families who have dinner together regularly have a much higher percentage of healthy, well-adjusted children. Kids need predictable time to talk with their parents about their day, the opportunity to help with family chores (preparing food and doing dishes), and the opportunity to eat homemade food. Dashing through a fast-food drive-through and eating chicken nuggets on the way to practice is no substitute for a real family dinner.
  
  
• Read a new parenting book. Okay, this is a little bit of a commercial here, but be aware that there are constantly new, good parenting titles available on the market. If your bookshelf just has an old copy of Dr. Spock and a pregnancy manual collecting dust, then it’s definitely time to update your collection. Personally, I have three new books on my desk that I’m anxious to start—one on talking with your children about sex, one on challenging behaviors, and one on parenting proactively. There is a wealth of information available on this very website in the form of articles—all for free. So read something new and put a little wind in your sails.

Reflections on Chrismukkah

Does Hanukkah get the short end of the winter holiday stick? Of course, how can it compete with the Christmas machine? Elliot said to me, "Mom, since I'm both Christian and Jewish, can we have some decorations at our house? Maybe we can put candy canes in our back yard." Ha! I love it.

He's right, we're out of the mainstream. He wants the big splash of giant evergreen trees and candy colored holiday lights. We don't celebrate Christmas at our house. We have no tree, no lights etc. We have a red winterberry wreath, but apparently that doesn't count. Not celebrating Christmas (at this point in their lives) is really the biggest Jewish identity builder our kids can have. I don't identify with Christianity and never have, so Christmas in my family is really just a winter family gathering. Hanukkah is our winter family gathering. I don't feel the need to have a tree or decorate. I'm sure Elliot will get it someday.

I love Jewish culture, I signed up to keep it alive and pass on that Jewish history / tradition / identity to our children as much we can in our crazy mixed up world. Since I was raised without any religious affiliation and neither were my parents or grandparents (philosophically/spiritually, certain aspects of paganism, renewal judaism, buddhism and unitarianism appeal to me) I like the feeling of having an actual religious cultural calendar (although we don't belong to a temple currently and I'll never be Jewish). We observe passover, the high holidays and hanukkah. The boys do occasional shabbat dinners with their grandparents.

Bessie asked me how do you get your Jewish husband to participate in Hanukkah? Having Grandma and Grandpa near helps. But we we read Hanukkah bedtime stories. We have a Hanukkah party every year and we light the menorah nightly (or we try to, it doesn't always work out). After several years of giving small presents for 8 days and dealing with Elliot crying every night because he wanted more, we decided to do the one big night of presents route (much more successful). I would like us to do one night of volunteering next year as well.

We do the Christmas thing with my family every other year and that's enough. I wonder if Elliot will miss it next year. I feel like I buy just as many presents either way, but it feels just a bit more sane. I have to be careful about how I pitch our LA Christmas, I caught myself saying, "Wait until we get to LA you'll get a lot of presents there." If we really want them to have a Jewish identity we'll have to join a temple.

Chrismukkah according to Wikipedia, has many meanings: the commercialization of Hanukkah, the hybrid holiday of Christmas and Hanukkah in interfaith heritage households, Christmas as celebrated by a Jewish household, and an ironic alternative winter holiday such as Festivus.

Ice Skating on New Year's Eve

Goodbye 2006. We spent the last day of the year ice skating at an outdoor rink with the boys and had a blast. Elliot was a natural. He wants to take ice skating lessons now. Who knew he had such great balance and strength?

Asher was frustrated by his inability to race around as usual, but he enjoyed being pulled around the rink by mom and dad. My arms feel like they're going to fall off now.

Films We Saw + Liked in 2006

It's amazing I even have a list, considering I haven't seen more than a handful of films in the theater this year. The list would have been very slim if Netflix wasn't in my life. I do have standards, I won't put everything on the list. I saw The Queen recently and although I enjoyed it and Helen Mirren inhabited the role admirably, the story didn't transcend TV movie status. I liked Little Miss Sunshine and Thank You for Smoking, but I couldn't put them on my list either, they were problematic and didn't stay with me.

I'm looking forward to seeing: Duck Season, Inland Empire, Half Nelson, Heart of Gold, The Painted Veil, Marie Antoinette, Iraq in Fragments, A Prairie Home Companion, An Inconvenient Truth, Jonestown... Everyone seems to be crazy about Pan's Labyrinth which looks like a high brow horror movie.

My Top 4 Films of 2006

1. The Science of Sleep
I love underdogs, the genius and beauty of this film was unappreciated by the critics and misunderstood by all, but Danny and I found it to be the most original, emotionally complex stories this year.

2. Borat
Brutal satire that hits it right on the nose and made me howl with laughter.

3. Little Children
I expected LC to be a smug / campy parable about hypocrisy and self indulgence, but it really surprised me with its sharp look at adults who are in various stages of arrested development. Each character was stuck in some corner of childhood, morally complex, no judgment, well unified.

4. Scanner Darkly
Still vivid since I saw it last summer, I was pulled in to this universe and saturated for hours after the film ended.

Other Top 10 Lists
Salon.com Best Movies of 2006 List
Metacritic.com 2006 Film Critic Top Ten Lists

Disneyland

We were lucky enough to get free tickets to Disneyland this year (Thanks Chris!) so we thought it was about time for Asher to experience the Magic Kingdom. Michael, Britta and Grandma joined the crew and we had a surprisingly smooth trip, sans major breakdowns and tears.

Asher loved It's a Small World and all musical aspects of the park. Elliot was tall enough to go on all rides (how did that happen?) but we kept it mellow. He wasn't sure about Pirates of the Caribbean so we skipped it. We met another 5 year old boy at Tom Sawyer's Island (which is going to close soon) and they became fast friends running around the island caves and toured the rest of the park with us.

I made everyone eat in the French Quarter right next to some singing pirates so Elliot got a taste of the pirates experience. We saw Captain Jack Sparrow, Elliot's latest obsession. The menu at the cafe was disturbing, deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and deep fried grueyere cheese sandwhiches are just as bad as they sound. It took us forever to be served but the kids were entertained.

I think we left a minimal impact on the park, Grandma bought the boys pirates shirts and Elliot had to have a huge set of iron jailer's keys.

Here are my tips for visiting Disneyland:

1. Bring extra snacks and water
2. Eating at the theme restaurants is tolerable only if there is live entertainment
3. Don't go on ToonTown with a 3 year old (it's too scary)
4. Keep sugar consumption low (we had churros and salt water taffy - that was more than enough)

Los Angeles in December

As we exited the plane at Burbank, Elliot felt the mild air and shouted, "It's not cold at all! I'm free! I'm free!" It was actually fairly cold, but he was ready for a break from the Seattle chill.
Palm trees, birds of paradise, brown hills, traffic jams, deep afternoon shadows and thunder storms, our Los Angeles.

It's a Hanukkah Miracle!

Thursday night at 10pm we lost power. From my bed we could see pink sparks flying from the blown transformers down the street. The wind rattled our windows, whipped anything loose into the air and snapped pine trees in half. It was hard to sleep with such drama going on around us, it sounded like pieces of metal were falling on our house.

Friday morning we found out school was closed and we had no power. Our house was 55 degrees. We showered in candlelight and got breakfast at a cafe that had power. As luck would have it my work had power, business as usual. Danny and the kids went to see Charlotte's Web and stayed out of the house.

The power was restored by 2. We were very lucky. Many of my coworkers still didn't have power by nightfall and it was projected that it might take anywhere from 2 to 10 days until power was fully restored. We celebrated the first night of Hanukkah on schedule. We used birthday candles in the menorah, but it did the trick. Happy Hanukkah!

Vegetarians Get the Last Laugh

I've been a vegetarian for 20 years (for health / environmental / ethical reasons) and I don't miss meat at all (my diet isn't all that veg and fruit rich however). I really don't like the taste of meat or poultry. I'm not a true vegetarian, I started eating fish while pregnant with Elliot because I was worried about getting enough iron and protein. Now I eat fish a few times a year in high end restaurants.

I made the decision to not raise the boys vegetarian because it's hard enough to feed kids. I say nothing about the fact that I don't eat meat because I don't want them to turn off from the whole food group. However it does seem strange that my 5 year old doesn't know anything about it. Danny gave up vegetarianism a few years ago and says he feels healthier, he's tried to get me to change my veg diet several times. Fish was my compromise, but I can take it or leave it. It seems like I'm always running into ex-vegetarians and ex-vegans (I can't see how anyone could stay vegan for long). I know only a handful of vegetarians. Well this British study gives us vegetarians vindication for any ridicule we may have endured over the years. Ha!

Study Finds Vegetarians Smarter
A study of thousands of men and women revealed that those who stick to a vegetarian diet have IQs that are around five points higher than those who regularly eat meat. Writing in the British Medical Journal, the researchers say it isn't clear why veggies are brainier - but admit the fruit and veg-rich vegetarian diet could somehow boost brain power.

The researchers, from the University of Southampton, tracked the fortunes of more than 8,000 volunteers for 20 years. At the age of ten, the boys and girls sat a series of tests designed to determine their IQ. When they reached the age of 30, they were asked whether they were vegetarian and their answers compared to their childhood IQ score.
Around four and a half per cent of the adults were vegetarian - a figure that is broadly in line with that found in the general population.

However, further analysis of the results showed those who were brainiest as children were more likely to have become vegetarian as adults, shunning both meat and fish. The typical adult veggie had a childhood IQ of around 105 - around five points higher than those who continued to eat meat as they grew up. The vegetarians were also more likely to have gained degrees and hold down high-powered jobs.

There was no difference in IQ between strict vegetarians and those who classed themselves as veggie but still ate fish or chicken. However, vegans - vegetarians who also avoid dairy products - scored significantly lower, averaging an IQ score of 95 at the age of 10.

Researcher Dr Catharine Gale said there could be several explanations for the findings, including intelligent people being more likely to consider both animal welfare issues and the possible health benefits of a vegetarian diet.

Previous work has shown that vegetarians tend to have lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol, cutting their risk of heart attacks. They are also less likely to be obese. Alternatively, a diet which is rich in fruit, vegetables and wholegrains may somehow boost brain power.

Dr Gale said: 'Although our results suggest that children who are more intelligent may be more likely to become vegetarian as adolescents or young adults, it does not rule out the possibility that such a diet might have some beneficial effect on subsequent cognitive performance.

'Might the nature of the vegetarians' diet have enhanced their apparently superior brain power? Was this the mechanism that helped them achieve the disproportionate nature of degrees?

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23378331-details/Vegetarians+are+more+intelligent%2C+says+study/article.do

The mountain

Yesterday "the mountain" was out. The clouds left and revealed Mt Rainier completely covered in snow, white and brilliant in the light, it looked as if it were in our backyard. Everyone stopped to gawk. It's strange to realize that we have this huge volcano sitting a few feet away from us (ok several hundred miles away).

Asher's teacher told us at school he pointed out the window and said, "Dad is in the mountain. He's coming after afternoon snack. Hi Dad! I can see mom and dad and elliot, they're all on the mountain." Then he waved to us. Ashee, so sweet. It's amazing how much his verbal skills have improved in just this last month.

family stranded in snow

I've been following the story of the kim family stranded in the oregon mountains since Thanksgiving. They seemed so similar to my young family: tech industry, west coast connections -- sf, portland, seattle -- two kids under age 5, we're both 35 years old. It could have happened to us. When we were in sf this summer we evn visited the apothecary store they owned. I can't imagine what I would do or feel after being stranded for 9 or 10 days. Having 2 kids relying on you for support and sanity makes it easier to ground yourself, but it must take a resilient spirit to survive that ordeal. Kati nursed both kids throughout, providing comfort and nutrition. Snow water and baby food. I immediately thought he shouldn't have left them when he was found dead. But he had spent a whole week, waiting. Burned tires. No way out. A family is now grieving for their young father and husband.

So Long 2006 - The Time is Now

Ok, so I'm a little early (4 weeks until the new year). I just bought my annual 2007 Nikki McClure Calendar which is lovely and inspring as always. (I should note that the title is "The Time is Now." Be Present.) Each mesmerizing scene has a call to action that I can get behind: build, repair, congregate, breathe, attempt, transmit, respond, return, wake up... The www.buyolympia.com site has tons of other cool stuff by indie artists and crafty people.

I'm anxious to say goodbye to our year of earaches, housing limbo, construction upheaval. 2006 was a slow year. Good stuff happened too: Asher started talking fluently, Elliot learned to swim and is beginning to read. We have a fantastic bathroom. Arrivederci, we're moving into our easy year, thank you very much. I'll do my top 10 films of the year list as soon as I see 10 films (maybe I can squeeze a few in later this month).

I saw a meme recently about the top 100 songs (mention the songs you loved, tolerated and hated) of the year you graduated high school (I was class of 1989). I was shocked that not even a single song from 1989 was tolerable. I forgot how bad top 40 music was pre-nirvana (today's top 40 is still bad, just not as bad, or maybe I'm just blissfully ignorant). 1989 was a particularly bad year for music. 1989 was the year of milli vanilli (girl you know it's true), new kids on the block, warrant, poison, bette midler, paula abdul, bobby brown, debbie gibson, madonna (like a prayer)... could it get any worse? seems more like 1985.

On another note, I'm a big palace / will oldham / bonnie "prince" billy fan so I subjected myself to viewing half of his hour long anti-social comic interview / "poolside chat with neil hamburger" on tomgreen.com featuring a guest appearence by andy dick. Neil said, If you have a question about the past or the future, don't bother to call.

Right, it's all about the now.

Snow Day! (s)

Monday night we had a little snow shower that covered everything with a 1/2 inch of white. We were giddy watching the fat flakes settle into the ground and stick. Whoopee. Even though the snow stopped just when it was really starting to accumulate, the Seattle School District cancelled school due to icy roads and temperatures below freezing (I think the high today was 28). The kids frolicked and spazzed out in the snow with our neighbors. Asher fell in the snow and said, "I need some ice" (his auto-response to to any boo-boo).

Today it was extremely cold (it was fun seeing people blow drying their car doors open) and there was ice (which is good for sledding) but it didn't snow. We're in for our second day of school closure tomorrow without real fluffy fun snow, but they're predicting signficant accumulation tomorrow night. Perhaps a whole week of snow days is in store???

Pippi Longstocking Film Festival

Over the long Thanksgiving weekend we introduced the boys to the world's strongest person (not just the world's strongest girl - she's stronger than any man): Pippi Longstocking. We spent four days watching and rewatching the original 1974 films "Pippi Longstocking" and "Pippi in the South Seas." Elliot was sold immediately because Pippi is strong and smart and has a pet monkey. Asher we can assume was into Pippi because he said to us, "Quiet, it's European."

I'm happy to report that Pippi is just as strange and refreshing as I remembered. I was viewing her as a responsible adult and parent, yet she was still charming. She picks her nose, belches louder than any pirate and is probably the worst tea party guest ever. Pippi is rude and a little chaotic, but generous and full of integrity. She's a punk rock girl full of good cheer. Anything is possible, it's all about freedom, who cares if it's messy or not perfect.

I loved the flying bed and balloon scenes as a kid. What's better than waking up over the sparkling ocean in a warm, comfy bed and kicking back with a yummy sandwich for breakfast? I noticed that food plays an important part in the films, supporting my theory that food is a crucial ingredient to success in children's literature and film.

Interesting fact: according to Wikipedia Pippi's full name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Daughter Longstocking.

I am Thankful for My Pet Turkey

Elliot created a Thanksgiving placemat at school featuring a fantastic yellow turkey with brown handprint feathers. His subtitle read, "I am thankful for my pet turkey." Oh really?

What am I thankful for? A good night of sleep. Peets Coffee. Having so many family members who are generous, full of good humor and silliness, loyal, honest and insightful. Happy Thanksgiving.

Roald Dahl - Wicked Bedtime Reading

Reading bedtime stories with my kids is one of the best things about being a parent. I love nestling with the boys and a book; they're calm and completely absorbed in the present moment. It's a bonus when the books we're reading make us giggle senselessly. It's a special treat when the books are darkly humorous absurd tales featuring horrid, gruesome characters, what a bonus!

I always had my nose in a book as a kid in the 70s and 80s, but I never read anything by Roald Dahl. I asked my mom why I never read any Dahl books and she claimed not to have heard of him even though she's a bibliophile and a retired elementary school teacher. Sure I watched the odd and menacing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory anytime it was on tv. Does that count? Did I judge books by their covers? Of course. Anyway, I was a fan of mysteries, paranormal stories and girly books. I was too immersed in Nancy Drew, Agatha Christy, Madeleine L'Engle and Judy Blume to notice these quirky books with the squiggly line drawing covers.

I read an article about Dahl's complicated life and prickly character in the New Yorker earlier this year (I identified with his dark humor and sense of social justice - I'll ignore the other parts). Now that I've discovered the pleasures of his dry wicked wit, I'm anxious to tackle the whole Dahl library with Elliot.

We started with the Enormous Crocodile about an ill tempered croc who has designs to eat "a nice, juicy child" and spends the whole tale tricking and deceiving everyone in order to get a child. Elliot thought it was hilarious. Next we read The Twits about Mr. and Mrs. Twit who are indeed grotesque, they never bathe or brush their hair, play mean and horrible tricks on each other endlesslly (worm spaghetti, frogs in the bed). Our most recent read was George's Marvelous Medicine, in which George makes a disgusting magical potion that ends up killing his beast of a grandmother. This story was particularly misanthropic, no one cared that grandma died, she was nuisance. But as with all Dahl stories, if you're a mean, nasty person who's cruel to kids then you'll get your due.

Roald Dahl died in 1990. According to his granddaughter, the family gave him a "sort of Viking funeral. He was buried with his snooker cues, some very good burgundy, chocolates, HB pencils and a power saw."

Crocs Mania

I bought Elliot a pair of pale blue crocs, the soft squishy foam clog, last June and we've definitely gotten our money's worth. They're his favorite shoe, easy to put on, comfortable and apparently the allow him to "run really fast," even faster than his new balance track shoes. I've been asking him to retire his crocs for the winter, maybe he could pick out some boots, great for rainy days. You can walk outside and not get cold wet feet (you would think that would be a plus). But I must be delusional.

When school started I told him he couldn't wear his crocs to school. Just like we don't wear track pants to school, it's not appropriate attire. We don't wear squishy clogs to school. But then it became difficult to fend off his pleas when I saw that nearly half the kids (boys and girls) in his class wore crocs to school daily. I relented. He could wear them to school. I gave in to the track pants as well. I have so many battles, this one didn't seem worth it. (At least I held my ground on not wearing shorts until next spring). A friend gave him some trinkety frogs to attach to the holes in the shoe. It's a full blown kid trend.

So the rule is that he can't wear crocs to school now that it's raining and cold everyday, but he can wear them on weekends if it's not raining. Today he knew it was his opportunity to wear his crocs, so he carefully crafted an ensemble that consisted of navy track pants with a reflective white stripe down the side and a green and navy baseball shirt. My natty young man.

Autumn Picnic

Picnics hold a dear place in the hearts of most children. They're romanticized and exoticized in a way that no other eating activity can muster. Was it "Best Friends for Frances" or "George Shinks" or "McDuff Comes Home" that clinched it for him? Elliot barely eats more than 800 calories a day, (apple, pb+j,yogurt, one bite of chicken, rice, maybe some dry cereal), he can barely sit still during dinner, but eating outside is the bees knees.

He had the idea last Saturday that we should have a picnic in the park with sandwiches, grapes, cookies, juice and chips. The wind was blowing, it was close 40 degrees, but I couldn't say no to his enthusiasm. As a compromise, we had Elliot and his neighbors lunch in our front yard on a blanket. The picnic basket was a must have. That's what it's all about, the packaging (and location). Of course they were jumping up and down trying to stay warm (or maybe it was just boy spazziness, kids don't get cold, what am I thinking).

"Emu. It's delicious."

Asher's teacher today told me that he and his Spanish speaking friend Eloy from Argentina speak in their own hybrid language. Asher points to the cat out the window and will say something like, "Gato. Gwack spool gato." Then Eloy runs over and checks out the cat and responds in turn, "El gato gwack su piel." It isn't true Spanish or English and it isn't spanglish either. It's a crazy toddler gibberish spanish hybrid language.