Aesop's Fables

I've been reading Aesop's Fables to the boys lately. Elliot spots the lazy and greedy characters in The Dog and the Shadow, The Goose that Laid the Golden Egg and The Grasshopper and the Ants from a mile away. "He should have been happy with what he had," Elliot sighs and shakes his head after the completion of a fable. The dog and the man wanted more, grabbed for it and lost everything. The grasshopper smugly thought he wouldn't have to prepare for winter as the ants were doing. He gets it. You don't get something for nothing, and when you do, just be thankful. (that sounds a bit harsh though - just be grateful you're not living on the street, kid).

Now if we could get him to apply that knowledge to his own life. Just because Asher slept in our bed last night, it doesn't mean we love him more. Yes, it appears that Asher received a millimeter more of juice in his cup, but you'll live, right? To Elliot, the grass is nearly always greener in Asher's realm -- which segues into "I never get what I want" lament. I can't get no satisfaction. It will dawn on him someday that he doesn't need more, or something better. Right?

Facts about Aesop from Wikipedia:
The place of Aesop's birth was and still is disputed: Thrace, Phrygia, Egypt, Ethiopia, Samos, Athens, Sardis and Amorium all claimed the honour. According to the sparse information gathered about him from references to him in several Greek works (he was mentioned by Aristophanes, Plato, Xenophon and Aristotle), Aesop was a slave for someone called Xanthus (Ιάδμων), who resided on the island of Samos. Aesop must have been freed, for he conducted the public defence of a certain Samian demagogue (Aristotle, Rhetoric, ii. 20). He subsequently lived at the court of Croesus, where he met Solon, and dined in the company of the Seven Sages of Greece with Periander at Corinth.

According to the historian Herodotus, Aesop met with a violent death at the hands of the inhabitants of Delphi, though the cause was not stated. Various suggestions were made by later writers, such as his insulting sarcasms, the embezzlement of money entrusted to him by Croesus for distribution at Delphi, and his alleged sacrilege of a silver cup. A pestilence that ensued was blamed on his execution, and the Delphians declared their willingness to make compensation, which, in default of a nearer connection, was claimed by Iadmon, grandson of Aesop's former master.

Popular stories surrounding Aesop were assembled in a vita prefixed to a collection of fables under his name, compiled by Maximus Planudes, a fourteenth-century monk. He was by tradition extremely ugly and deformed, which is the sole basis for making a grotesque marble figure in the Villa Albani, Rome, a "portrait of Aesop". This biography had actually existed a century before Planudes. It appeared in a thirteenth century manuscript found in Florence. However, according to another Greek historian Plutarch's account of the symposium of the Seven Sages, at which Aesop was a guest, there were many jests on his former servile status, but nothing derogatory was said about his personal appearance. Aesop's deformity was further disputed by the Athenians, who erected in his honour a noble statue by the sculptor Lysippus.

Olympic Sculpture Park

Last weekend the Seattle Art Museum opened the Olympic Sculpture Park on the waterfront downtown. The kids and I went to the extremely packed grand opening - a shindig sponsored by Target - and raced around the park. At the entrance, the kids were enthralled by a team of men taking chain saws to ice and sculpting a huge orca-fantasm-in-the-arctic-waves creation. We enjoyed the free hot cocoa dispensed by Target employees who wore the canisters on their backs. And the endless Target swag - stuffed animals, bags, umbrellas....

The red Alexander Calder "Eagle" sculpture is the most striking piece in the park. Kids were dancing around it, shrieking and patting it. A great way for them to experience art. However, they had a docent standing there saying "please don't touch" the sculpture. I don't see how this can hold up. It's absurd, it's a steel outdoor sculpture, little hands would ocassionally drift across it or pat it, but they couldn't hurt it. If a kid was banging a toy or something on it, that makes sense, but I don't see how they can expect people not to touch it.

Anyway, the waterfront park area is beautiful, a huge grassy area and beach look like great summer picnic spots. I got really stressed out by the massive swarm of boys crawling over the huge jagged rocks and splintery beachwood hills on the beach. I tried to hold Asher back, but he was determined to join in the boy fest and I had to chapperone. The boys loved it, especially the trains that run right beside the park every 1/2 hour. Another good place for a boy adventure.

Afghan Mobile Mini Circus for Children School

This morning on NPR I heard this story about a children's circus school in Afghanistan where the kids learn how to do standard circus stuff like juggling and acrobatics, but also skills such as computer science, embroidery, radio production, and how to recognize and avoid land mines. I love the future forward, optimistic focus on education and children. We'll have to go see them in 2008. Here is a link to their site: Afghan Mini Mobile Circus for Children

From the NPR story

Founder David Mason says when they take their show on the road, it's to educate as much as to entertain. They teach life-saving subjects, like how to recognize and avoid land mines, or the importance of washing hands.

He took his life savings and went to Pakistan in early 2002. But no aid agency would sponsor him. He says they wanted to build clinics and schools. The idea of a circus just didn't fly.

The 14 Afghan teachers and performers who work for the circus are paid a modest $200 per month. About half of them travel across Afghanistan to perform in provincial schools. Mason says it's too dangerous to let the students travel.

But the children do perform overseas. Fariya's brother recently returned from Japan. Their sister, Parisa, went to Germany and Denmark. A trip to California is planned in 2008.

Q & A with Elliot

Q: If you could be any age, how old would you be?
A: I would be 13 years old.

Q: How would your life be different if you were 13?
A: I would buy stuff you don't want me to buy, like the skeleton in the cage. I'd buy 95 bayonettes. [This is in reference to some toys he wanted before Halloweeen. His memory is both a cause for alarm and pride. I hope his comment isn't prescient.]

Q: What kind of clothes would you wear?
A: I'd wear sports clothes, athletic pants. I like sports.

Q: What sports would you play?
A: I'd play football.

Q: That's it? No swimming? No baseball? No soccer?
A: Just football. I like to tackle people.

Q: What music would you listen to?
A: Pirate's music. Captain Jack Sparrow.

Q: Would you play any instruments?
A: I'd play jazz. I'd be in a jazz band and play two instruments, the saxophone and the trumpet. I'd play When the Saints Come Marching In on the trumpet.

Q: What would you do to make the world a better place?
A: I would save the panda bears and give them more bamboo to eat. I wouldn't let anybody cut down the best trees in the world. I want everybody to have a very nice home.

Snowing in Seattle

Another snow day! No school, no work. Fun, fun, fun. We woke up to 2 inches of snow and it continued throughout the morning. Elliot and I walked up to Zoka to get a pastry and coffee then spent an hour sledding down the hill on 58th street.

A Winter Story by Elliot Bremson

Snow, snow falling down, a girl catches a snowflake with her open mouth. The old man almost hits a little dog with his shovel.

A girl toppled a boy and smashed snow in his face. The strongest kid is named Nicky. He has red hair.

The winter birds ate the seeds Nicky gave to them. Flying in the air for three stories for you and me. The snow is beautiful. I like this snowflake over here, it looks like glass. Rain turns into snow. Nicky gave the birds lots of food, some were black dotted and yellow on top.

Nicky took time off with his own toys, the snow came. He was scared when his father tried to open the door, the door was frozen. Nobody could help them. Even though the snow goes away, he played in the snow in winter.

Fun fun for you and me. We go where we want to go. Snow snow, this is the best time of year. Snow snow let it fall. Even though I don't declare I'm at my winter fair. This is fun oh lots of things, we get to go ice skating on the winter swimming pool. I get to see water in the ice. This is a poem from 1985.

Parenting Resolutions

From Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach by Shari Steelsmith.

• Respond to your children more calmly. I make the point in my book, Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach, that your discipline has a much higher chance of succeeding if you do it without yelling, exasperated lecturing, or crying. Becoming emotional only tells your child that you’ve lost control—and given it to him or her. If you can discipline calmly, even dispassionately, you will dramatically increase your odds of success. Make use of deep breathing, time-outs (for yourself), and other relaxation techniques to help you keep a rein on your emotions. Planning ahead for what guidance technique you will use when the misbehavior appears again is also very useful for maintaining calm.
  
  
• Limit your child’s exposure to “screens.” This is a constant battle at my house— making sure the “screen time” doesn’t creep up past the day’s limit. Studies tell us that the less time a child spends watching TV, playing on the computer or X-box, or otherwise entertaining himself with screens, the better his achievement in school and his cooperation at home. When kids don’t use screens, they do things like read, play outside, ride bikes and participate in other wholesome activities.
  
  
• Have regular family dinners. I know, you’re thinking, “Duh.” But with all the extra-curricular activities in which we allow our children to participate, family dinnertime is often a casualty. It’s easy to let this get out of hand. Remember, families who have dinner together regularly have a much higher percentage of healthy, well-adjusted children. Kids need predictable time to talk with their parents about their day, the opportunity to help with family chores (preparing food and doing dishes), and the opportunity to eat homemade food. Dashing through a fast-food drive-through and eating chicken nuggets on the way to practice is no substitute for a real family dinner.
  
  
• Read a new parenting book. Okay, this is a little bit of a commercial here, but be aware that there are constantly new, good parenting titles available on the market. If your bookshelf just has an old copy of Dr. Spock and a pregnancy manual collecting dust, then it’s definitely time to update your collection. Personally, I have three new books on my desk that I’m anxious to start—one on talking with your children about sex, one on challenging behaviors, and one on parenting proactively. There is a wealth of information available on this very website in the form of articles—all for free. So read something new and put a little wind in your sails.

Reflections on Chrismukkah

Does Hanukkah get the short end of the winter holiday stick? Of course, how can it compete with the Christmas machine? Elliot said to me, "Mom, since I'm both Christian and Jewish, can we have some decorations at our house? Maybe we can put candy canes in our back yard." Ha! I love it.

He's right, we're out of the mainstream. He wants the big splash of giant evergreen trees and candy colored holiday lights. We don't celebrate Christmas at our house. We have no tree, no lights etc. We have a red winterberry wreath, but apparently that doesn't count. Not celebrating Christmas (at this point in their lives) is really the biggest Jewish identity builder our kids can have. I don't identify with Christianity and never have, so Christmas in my family is really just a winter family gathering. Hanukkah is our winter family gathering. I don't feel the need to have a tree or decorate. I'm sure Elliot will get it someday.

I love Jewish culture, I signed up to keep it alive and pass on that Jewish history / tradition / identity to our children as much we can in our crazy mixed up world. Since I was raised without any religious affiliation and neither were my parents or grandparents (philosophically/spiritually, certain aspects of paganism, renewal judaism, buddhism and unitarianism appeal to me) I like the feeling of having an actual religious cultural calendar (although we don't belong to a temple currently and I'll never be Jewish). We observe passover, the high holidays and hanukkah. The boys do occasional shabbat dinners with their grandparents.

Bessie asked me how do you get your Jewish husband to participate in Hanukkah? Having Grandma and Grandpa near helps. But we we read Hanukkah bedtime stories. We have a Hanukkah party every year and we light the menorah nightly (or we try to, it doesn't always work out). After several years of giving small presents for 8 days and dealing with Elliot crying every night because he wanted more, we decided to do the one big night of presents route (much more successful). I would like us to do one night of volunteering next year as well.

We do the Christmas thing with my family every other year and that's enough. I wonder if Elliot will miss it next year. I feel like I buy just as many presents either way, but it feels just a bit more sane. I have to be careful about how I pitch our LA Christmas, I caught myself saying, "Wait until we get to LA you'll get a lot of presents there." If we really want them to have a Jewish identity we'll have to join a temple.

Chrismukkah according to Wikipedia, has many meanings: the commercialization of Hanukkah, the hybrid holiday of Christmas and Hanukkah in interfaith heritage households, Christmas as celebrated by a Jewish household, and an ironic alternative winter holiday such as Festivus.

Ice Skating on New Year's Eve

Goodbye 2006. We spent the last day of the year ice skating at an outdoor rink with the boys and had a blast. Elliot was a natural. He wants to take ice skating lessons now. Who knew he had such great balance and strength?

Asher was frustrated by his inability to race around as usual, but he enjoyed being pulled around the rink by mom and dad. My arms feel like they're going to fall off now.

Films We Saw + Liked in 2006

It's amazing I even have a list, considering I haven't seen more than a handful of films in the theater this year. The list would have been very slim if Netflix wasn't in my life. I do have standards, I won't put everything on the list. I saw The Queen recently and although I enjoyed it and Helen Mirren inhabited the role admirably, the story didn't transcend TV movie status. I liked Little Miss Sunshine and Thank You for Smoking, but I couldn't put them on my list either, they were problematic and didn't stay with me.

I'm looking forward to seeing: Duck Season, Inland Empire, Half Nelson, Heart of Gold, The Painted Veil, Marie Antoinette, Iraq in Fragments, A Prairie Home Companion, An Inconvenient Truth, Jonestown... Everyone seems to be crazy about Pan's Labyrinth which looks like a high brow horror movie.

My Top 4 Films of 2006

1. The Science of Sleep
I love underdogs, the genius and beauty of this film was unappreciated by the critics and misunderstood by all, but Danny and I found it to be the most original, emotionally complex stories this year.

2. Borat
Brutal satire that hits it right on the nose and made me howl with laughter.

3. Little Children
I expected LC to be a smug / campy parable about hypocrisy and self indulgence, but it really surprised me with its sharp look at adults who are in various stages of arrested development. Each character was stuck in some corner of childhood, morally complex, no judgment, well unified.

4. Scanner Darkly
Still vivid since I saw it last summer, I was pulled in to this universe and saturated for hours after the film ended.

Other Top 10 Lists
Salon.com Best Movies of 2006 List
Metacritic.com 2006 Film Critic Top Ten Lists

Disneyland

We were lucky enough to get free tickets to Disneyland this year (Thanks Chris!) so we thought it was about time for Asher to experience the Magic Kingdom. Michael, Britta and Grandma joined the crew and we had a surprisingly smooth trip, sans major breakdowns and tears.

Asher loved It's a Small World and all musical aspects of the park. Elliot was tall enough to go on all rides (how did that happen?) but we kept it mellow. He wasn't sure about Pirates of the Caribbean so we skipped it. We met another 5 year old boy at Tom Sawyer's Island (which is going to close soon) and they became fast friends running around the island caves and toured the rest of the park with us.

I made everyone eat in the French Quarter right next to some singing pirates so Elliot got a taste of the pirates experience. We saw Captain Jack Sparrow, Elliot's latest obsession. The menu at the cafe was disturbing, deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and deep fried grueyere cheese sandwhiches are just as bad as they sound. It took us forever to be served but the kids were entertained.

I think we left a minimal impact on the park, Grandma bought the boys pirates shirts and Elliot had to have a huge set of iron jailer's keys.

Here are my tips for visiting Disneyland:

1. Bring extra snacks and water
2. Eating at the theme restaurants is tolerable only if there is live entertainment
3. Don't go on ToonTown with a 3 year old (it's too scary)
4. Keep sugar consumption low (we had churros and salt water taffy - that was more than enough)

Los Angeles in December

As we exited the plane at Burbank, Elliot felt the mild air and shouted, "It's not cold at all! I'm free! I'm free!" It was actually fairly cold, but he was ready for a break from the Seattle chill.
Palm trees, birds of paradise, brown hills, traffic jams, deep afternoon shadows and thunder storms, our Los Angeles.

It's a Hanukkah Miracle!

Thursday night at 10pm we lost power. From my bed we could see pink sparks flying from the blown transformers down the street. The wind rattled our windows, whipped anything loose into the air and snapped pine trees in half. It was hard to sleep with such drama going on around us, it sounded like pieces of metal were falling on our house.

Friday morning we found out school was closed and we had no power. Our house was 55 degrees. We showered in candlelight and got breakfast at a cafe that had power. As luck would have it my work had power, business as usual. Danny and the kids went to see Charlotte's Web and stayed out of the house.

The power was restored by 2. We were very lucky. Many of my coworkers still didn't have power by nightfall and it was projected that it might take anywhere from 2 to 10 days until power was fully restored. We celebrated the first night of Hanukkah on schedule. We used birthday candles in the menorah, but it did the trick. Happy Hanukkah!

Vegetarians Get the Last Laugh

I've been a vegetarian for 20 years (for health / environmental / ethical reasons) and I don't miss meat at all (my diet isn't all that veg and fruit rich however). I really don't like the taste of meat or poultry. I'm not a true vegetarian, I started eating fish while pregnant with Elliot because I was worried about getting enough iron and protein. Now I eat fish a few times a year in high end restaurants.

I made the decision to not raise the boys vegetarian because it's hard enough to feed kids. I say nothing about the fact that I don't eat meat because I don't want them to turn off from the whole food group. However it does seem strange that my 5 year old doesn't know anything about it. Danny gave up vegetarianism a few years ago and says he feels healthier, he's tried to get me to change my veg diet several times. Fish was my compromise, but I can take it or leave it. It seems like I'm always running into ex-vegetarians and ex-vegans (I can't see how anyone could stay vegan for long). I know only a handful of vegetarians. Well this British study gives us vegetarians vindication for any ridicule we may have endured over the years. Ha!

Study Finds Vegetarians Smarter
A study of thousands of men and women revealed that those who stick to a vegetarian diet have IQs that are around five points higher than those who regularly eat meat. Writing in the British Medical Journal, the researchers say it isn't clear why veggies are brainier - but admit the fruit and veg-rich vegetarian diet could somehow boost brain power.

The researchers, from the University of Southampton, tracked the fortunes of more than 8,000 volunteers for 20 years. At the age of ten, the boys and girls sat a series of tests designed to determine their IQ. When they reached the age of 30, they were asked whether they were vegetarian and their answers compared to their childhood IQ score.
Around four and a half per cent of the adults were vegetarian - a figure that is broadly in line with that found in the general population.

However, further analysis of the results showed those who were brainiest as children were more likely to have become vegetarian as adults, shunning both meat and fish. The typical adult veggie had a childhood IQ of around 105 - around five points higher than those who continued to eat meat as they grew up. The vegetarians were also more likely to have gained degrees and hold down high-powered jobs.

There was no difference in IQ between strict vegetarians and those who classed themselves as veggie but still ate fish or chicken. However, vegans - vegetarians who also avoid dairy products - scored significantly lower, averaging an IQ score of 95 at the age of 10.

Researcher Dr Catharine Gale said there could be several explanations for the findings, including intelligent people being more likely to consider both animal welfare issues and the possible health benefits of a vegetarian diet.

Previous work has shown that vegetarians tend to have lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol, cutting their risk of heart attacks. They are also less likely to be obese. Alternatively, a diet which is rich in fruit, vegetables and wholegrains may somehow boost brain power.

Dr Gale said: 'Although our results suggest that children who are more intelligent may be more likely to become vegetarian as adolescents or young adults, it does not rule out the possibility that such a diet might have some beneficial effect on subsequent cognitive performance.

'Might the nature of the vegetarians' diet have enhanced their apparently superior brain power? Was this the mechanism that helped them achieve the disproportionate nature of degrees?

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23378331-details/Vegetarians+are+more+intelligent%2C+says+study/article.do

The mountain

Yesterday "the mountain" was out. The clouds left and revealed Mt Rainier completely covered in snow, white and brilliant in the light, it looked as if it were in our backyard. Everyone stopped to gawk. It's strange to realize that we have this huge volcano sitting a few feet away from us (ok several hundred miles away).

Asher's teacher told us at school he pointed out the window and said, "Dad is in the mountain. He's coming after afternoon snack. Hi Dad! I can see mom and dad and elliot, they're all on the mountain." Then he waved to us. Ashee, so sweet. It's amazing how much his verbal skills have improved in just this last month.

family stranded in snow

I've been following the story of the kim family stranded in the oregon mountains since Thanksgiving. They seemed so similar to my young family: tech industry, west coast connections -- sf, portland, seattle -- two kids under age 5, we're both 35 years old. It could have happened to us. When we were in sf this summer we evn visited the apothecary store they owned. I can't imagine what I would do or feel after being stranded for 9 or 10 days. Having 2 kids relying on you for support and sanity makes it easier to ground yourself, but it must take a resilient spirit to survive that ordeal. Kati nursed both kids throughout, providing comfort and nutrition. Snow water and baby food. I immediately thought he shouldn't have left them when he was found dead. But he had spent a whole week, waiting. Burned tires. No way out. A family is now grieving for their young father and husband.

So Long 2006 - The Time is Now

Ok, so I'm a little early (4 weeks until the new year). I just bought my annual 2007 Nikki McClure Calendar which is lovely and inspring as always. (I should note that the title is "The Time is Now." Be Present.) Each mesmerizing scene has a call to action that I can get behind: build, repair, congregate, breathe, attempt, transmit, respond, return, wake up... The www.buyolympia.com site has tons of other cool stuff by indie artists and crafty people.

I'm anxious to say goodbye to our year of earaches, housing limbo, construction upheaval. 2006 was a slow year. Good stuff happened too: Asher started talking fluently, Elliot learned to swim and is beginning to read. We have a fantastic bathroom. Arrivederci, we're moving into our easy year, thank you very much. I'll do my top 10 films of the year list as soon as I see 10 films (maybe I can squeeze a few in later this month).

I saw a meme recently about the top 100 songs (mention the songs you loved, tolerated and hated) of the year you graduated high school (I was class of 1989). I was shocked that not even a single song from 1989 was tolerable. I forgot how bad top 40 music was pre-nirvana (today's top 40 is still bad, just not as bad, or maybe I'm just blissfully ignorant). 1989 was a particularly bad year for music. 1989 was the year of milli vanilli (girl you know it's true), new kids on the block, warrant, poison, bette midler, paula abdul, bobby brown, debbie gibson, madonna (like a prayer)... could it get any worse? seems more like 1985.

On another note, I'm a big palace / will oldham / bonnie "prince" billy fan so I subjected myself to viewing half of his hour long anti-social comic interview / "poolside chat with neil hamburger" on tomgreen.com featuring a guest appearence by andy dick. Neil said, If you have a question about the past or the future, don't bother to call.

Right, it's all about the now.

Snow Day! (s)

Monday night we had a little snow shower that covered everything with a 1/2 inch of white. We were giddy watching the fat flakes settle into the ground and stick. Whoopee. Even though the snow stopped just when it was really starting to accumulate, the Seattle School District cancelled school due to icy roads and temperatures below freezing (I think the high today was 28). The kids frolicked and spazzed out in the snow with our neighbors. Asher fell in the snow and said, "I need some ice" (his auto-response to to any boo-boo).

Today it was extremely cold (it was fun seeing people blow drying their car doors open) and there was ice (which is good for sledding) but it didn't snow. We're in for our second day of school closure tomorrow without real fluffy fun snow, but they're predicting signficant accumulation tomorrow night. Perhaps a whole week of snow days is in store???

Pippi Longstocking Film Festival

Over the long Thanksgiving weekend we introduced the boys to the world's strongest person (not just the world's strongest girl - she's stronger than any man): Pippi Longstocking. We spent four days watching and rewatching the original 1974 films "Pippi Longstocking" and "Pippi in the South Seas." Elliot was sold immediately because Pippi is strong and smart and has a pet monkey. Asher we can assume was into Pippi because he said to us, "Quiet, it's European."

I'm happy to report that Pippi is just as strange and refreshing as I remembered. I was viewing her as a responsible adult and parent, yet she was still charming. She picks her nose, belches louder than any pirate and is probably the worst tea party guest ever. Pippi is rude and a little chaotic, but generous and full of integrity. She's a punk rock girl full of good cheer. Anything is possible, it's all about freedom, who cares if it's messy or not perfect.

I loved the flying bed and balloon scenes as a kid. What's better than waking up over the sparkling ocean in a warm, comfy bed and kicking back with a yummy sandwich for breakfast? I noticed that food plays an important part in the films, supporting my theory that food is a crucial ingredient to success in children's literature and film.

Interesting fact: according to Wikipedia Pippi's full name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Daughter Longstocking.

I am Thankful for My Pet Turkey

Elliot created a Thanksgiving placemat at school featuring a fantastic yellow turkey with brown handprint feathers. His subtitle read, "I am thankful for my pet turkey." Oh really?

What am I thankful for? A good night of sleep. Peets Coffee. Having so many family members who are generous, full of good humor and silliness, loyal, honest and insightful. Happy Thanksgiving.