Chicago 2008

Ballard Sunday Market Photos

Boys wearing Chicago Cubs jersey shirts eating turkey dogs. Elliot snapped the other pics below. The raspberries are delicious!

Low Tide at Carkeek Park

Low tide meant that we got to sneak a peek at the exotic creatures usually under a blanket of sea. Some of my favorites: Sea Lettuce, Sugar Kelp, Turkish Towel, Aggregating Anemone, Moonglow Anemone, Sunflower Star, Gunnels, Purple Sea Star, Sea Lemon, Limpets, Frilled Dog Whelk, Periwinkles, and Moonsnail. Also, I finally saw a Geoduck - Gooeyduck.

Ultimate Family DVD List

Andrew O'Hehir, the self-proclaimed "pretentious art-film snob" critic for Salon, asked his readers for family film suggestions that were off the beaten path, and likely to be enjoyed by both kids and parents. It's a great list, I plucked a dozen of the suggestions off and added them to our Netflix queue. Many films aren't appropriate for the under 8 set...Awesome Kids' Video Project

Top Four Family Films

1) The Iron Giant
We own this movie, Elliot loves it.

2) My Neighbor Totoro
Another great movie we own, both kids are big fans.

3) The Princess Bride
This is now in our queue.

4) Time Bandits
For older kids - 9+.

Family Dinner Magic: Yet More Reasons to Eat Together

Ok, now I'm convinced. No more kid only meals while I wash dishes and Dan cooks our dinner while talking on the phone. We're all eating together. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

From the Slate article, The Mac and Cheese Effect: Why the family dinner is good for parents. The family dinner is ambrosia and nectar and manna, too, researchers have long told us. It helps prevent teenagers from abusing drugs and alcohol or smoking, and it protects them from stress, asthma, and eating disorders. It boosts kids' reading scores and grades. By the time all the virtues of dinner togetherness have been extolled, you can only feel that if you love your kids, you have to get home in time to sauté the stir fry. You might even cut back to working part time to force-feed them falafel, as law professor Cameron Stracher relates in a book he published last year.

Happily, according to a new study, family dinner appears to be good for parents, too. The research by lead author Jenet Jacob of Brigham Young University found that among 1,580 parents who worked at IBM, those who said their jobs interfered less with being home for dinner tended to feel greater personal success, and success in relationships with their spouses and their children. The working parents—both mothers and fathers—had all of these buoyant feelings if they made it home for dinner more regularly, even if they still worked long hours. They also felt more kindly toward their workplace. Parents who missed dinner at home because of work, on the other hand, felt gloomy about their professional futures. "It is noteworthy that although longer work hours predicted significantly greater perception of success in work life, work interference with dinnertime predicted lower perception of success in work life," Jacob and her co-author write.

Summertime Photos 2008

Here are some recent picture of our family for some people to view. They are, by and large, pictures of a trip to Discovery Park. Elliot got stung by a bee 15 feet from the completion of our sojourn. A couple of pictures are from a toy sale that Elliot instigated at 6:30 on a Wednesday.

Bubble Calendar

I know the boys would go nuts over this bubble calendar. Pop a bubble daily for a year. I bet they'd pop the whole year in one day actually. Cute idea.

Summer Solstice

Summer is here, the sun is out (in the afternoon). On the second to last day of school, Elliot's class had a picnic at Greenlake and all the kids ended up in the lake.

Piano Man

When a coworker of mine announced he was giving away his piano (we had to pay for it to be moved) I jumped at the chance. It's not in terrific shape and Elliot ruined part of the wood by hiding a corndog under the cover (grrr!), but I love having a piano in the house. Asher is our most avid piano player. Even when he's banging out crazy Russian avant garde sounds, it's a nice feeling, the house feels alive.

Boys Not Better Than Girls at Math

Thought this was interesting. In countries with gender equality (Sweden, Norway and Iceland are examples) girls do just as well as boys on standardized math tests. In Turkey, not such a gender-equal society, the average difference is 23 points. Researchers examined the test scores of 276,000 children in 40 countries, found that this pattern held around the world. "Average girls' scores improved as equality improved and the number of girls reaching the highest levels of performance also increased." So more equality leads to ... more equality.

"The research also found a striking gender gap in reading skills. In every country girls perform better than boys in reading but in countries that treat both sexes equally, girls do even better." The global average difference is 32.7 points. In Iceland, another country noteworthy for its gender equality, girls' average scores were 61 points higher than boys.

Hamster Dance

We have a new addition to the family - a small white and grey hamster named Fuzzy. Last night Danny assembled the purple and yellow hamster habitat while we had many discussions with the boys about pet care and the importance of washing hands. Pet rodents are not my cup of tea, but as far as rodents go, it's fairly cute and not at all mouse/rat-like. At the pet store the sales clerks were encouraging Dan to buy a rat, apparently they're very smart, like human interaction and will respond when you call their name. Sorry no way am I housing a pet rat. Hopefully Fuzzy will help Elliot understand the importance of caring for another soul, and help him learn to be more responsible.

Keep Them Occupied
In their native habitat, hamsters have to travel great distances to find food, a fact that explains domestic hamsters' need for lots of exercise. Exercise wheels can provide hamsters with a good bit of activity, but they should not be the only source of physical activity. Complement the hamster's home gym and entertainment center with chewables such as a dog biscuit or pesticide-free twigs from beech trees, maples, willows, hazelnut bushes, or fruit trees; these will also help keep the animal's incisors worn down. Cardboard boxes, toilet-paper rolls, and paper-towel rolls are also safe for hamsters to burrow in, chew on, and play with. Wooden ladders and branches fastened securely to the inside of the tank can help hamsters show off their climbing agility.

Practice Good Housekeeping
Hamsters can be cranky if disturbed during their daytime sleeping hours, so try cleaning, feeding, and handling in the late afternoon or evening. Be sure to clean out the hamster's bathroom space every day. Hamsters like to amass treasure chests of tidbits, so check for stockpiles of perishable food. Also clean the water bottle and sipper tube daily to prevent buildup of food, algae, and bacteria; check to be sure it is working properly as well.

Change all the bedding twice a week, disinfecting the tank and letting it dry before laying down fresh bedding and replacing the hamster's chewing, nesting, and climbing toys. If you must remove a hamster to clean her tank, you can hold a small box near her and she will probably run right in. When handling a hamster, always hold her over a surface such as a tabletop in case she manages to wriggle out of your hands.

Delicious Treats
Besides the basic hamster mix, you can also supplement your pet's daily diet with a moderated amount of treats. Below are some delicious and healthy treats for your hamster.

• Dog biscuits
• Chopped hard boiled eggs
• Apple
• Carrot
• Corn
• Water Chestnut
• Broccoli and cauliflower
• Plain oats

• Health food (usually oil free and salt free) products such as museli, nuts and seeds.

• Cheese and other milk products for strong bones
• Cereal
• Bread (you can spread a thin layer of peanut butter)
• Diluted honey fed with a plastic spoon
  
  

Foods to avoid

• Chocolates
• Henbane
• Oak leaves
• Buttercups
• Laurel leaves
• Hemlock
• Garlic
• Onions
• Junk food

• Sticky/sharp food as these may cause trouble in your hamster's cheek pouch.

• Sweet and oily food as they causes obesity.

• Vegetables and other high moisture content food should be fed in moderation to prevent diarrhoea.

• Although hamsters are omnivorous, it is better and healthier to stick with a vegetarian diet. Some books had also suggested that consuming meat encourage the cannibalism of young by adult hamsters.

Rock Climbing Elliot

Liam held his 7th birthday at the stone gardens rock climbing gym. Elliot took to rock climbing like a fish to water. Fearless, he scrambled up to the top then pushed off the wall like a crab on the way down. Rock climbing summer camp?

Mother's Day

This morning I luxuriated in bed then woke up when the boys delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers and pastries from Pike Place Market. Then we spent the afternoon at Carkeek Park scouting out the spot for Asher's birthday. Of course the kids had a blast. The Bubbleman surprised us just as we were about to leave, needless to say we had to stay and enjoy the show. The kids went wild for the bubble craziness. Happy mother's day!

The Hamster Song

Elliot has been pestering me to add this to the blog -- his new favorite disco song!! Hamster Dance.

Spring in Seattle

The Red Balloon

Over the past few months we've taken to watching films from the 50s and early 60s together as a family. Both kids seemed to like The Sound of Music, Dr. Seuss's The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, and Bye Bye Birdie. The Red Balloon perhaps because it's only a half hour or perhaps because there's no dialogue, really held Asher's attention. I loved seeing this young child walking confidently alone in a big city and the striking contrast of the red balloon against the grey buildings. The bludgeoning of the poor balloon was a shock, but the transcendent ending made sense. Believe in yourself, the power of imagination....

I want to show the boys Zazie Dans Le Metro but it's not out on DVD.

Tips For Teaching Emotional Intelligence

From Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, John Gottman and coauthor Joan DeClaire encourage parents to use "emotion coaching" to teach children how to analyze their feelings and handle conflict, particularly when they're angry, sad, or frustrated. Here are the steps they recommend.

1. Try to be aware of your child's emotions.
Kids don't always tell you what's going on in their lives. If your child seems sad or upset for no obvious reason, it's wise to look at the big picture and think about what might be troubling him. Did you and your spouse have a bitter argument within earshot of the child? Young children often give clues to what they're thinking during fantasy play. Gottman recounts that his daughter said to him while playing with her doll, "Barbie is really scared when you get mad." He says that in the important conversation that followed, "I assured Barbie (and my daughter) that I didn't mean to scare her and that just because I get angry, that doesn't mean I don't love her." A child's fearful reaction may also be a clue that you sound too loud, scary, and unpredictable, giving you the opportunity to apologize for not handling your anger better and assuring her that you'll try to talk more softly and control your anger better in the future.

2. Look at negative emotions as opportunities for intimacy and teaching.
You can use all your child's feelings, negative as well as positive, in teaching him how to deal constructively with his emotions. Some parents, hoping to help their children avoid suffering, will make dismissive comments ("That guinea pig was getting old anyway"). What the child may learn, though, is that his feelings aren't seen as important. Rather than minimizing your child's feelings, try to listen and sympathize, even if it makes you anxious or uncomfortable ("It's hard when a pet dies, isn't it?").

3. Listen with empathy.
Listen carefully to your child, then mirror back to him what he has said, naming the emotions for him. Gottman gives the example of a boy who's dejected because his next-door neighbors have refused to play with him. If his father responds by telling him to be a big kid and just forget about it, his son will most likely think that he is a big baby and deserves not to have any friends. It would be better, Gottman says, for the father to open the discussion by saying simply, "I bet that hurt your feelings." His son will feel relieved that his father understands what he is feeling and doesn't think the emotions are out of place. It also gives him an opportunity to talk about the situation and think about what he might do to change things.

Listening to your child doesn't mean solving the problem for him, dismissing it, or joking him out of a bad mood. Use examples from your own life to show him you understand what he's said ("I used to feel bad when my neighbor wanted to play with the big kids instead of me.") This tells the child that he is not alone in feeling the sting of rejection, and that those feelings can be dealt with.

4. Help your child find words to express his emotions.
Children often have trouble describing what they feel. You can help your child develop an emotional vocabulary by giving him labels for his feelings. If he's mad, you might say, "You feel angry about that, don't you?" or at other times, "That must have been a disappointment," or "Did that make you feel shy?" You can also let him know that it's natural to have conflicting emotions about something -- for instance, he may be both excited and scared during his first week at school.

5. Set limits while you teach problem-solving.
Part of helping your child to solve problems is establishing clear limits on his behavior, then guiding him toward a solution. For example, you can say, "I know you're angry at your little sister, but you can't hit her. What could you do instead?" Give him a set of options to choose from. Anger management specialist Lynne Namka advises telling your child to first check his tummy, jaw, and fists to see if they're tight, breathe deeply "to blow the mad out," and to feel good about getting his control. Then, Namka says, help your child use a strong voice to talk his anger out, beginning with something like, "I feel mad when you _____________." Children should know that it's okay to be angry, as long as they don't hurt other people for that reason. Your child might also want to talk to you about why he's angry, draw pictures about what makes him angry, or act out the story of his "mads" with toys. Use plenty of praise to promote behaviors you'd like to see more often.

6. Try to respect your child's choices, unless they would endanger safety or health. Honor small requests that you may not agree with; this will help your child make decisions on his own.

7. Read books together. Many parents stop reading to their children once they learn to read on their own. But the stories your child is reading give you more to talk about, and you can draw on them to bring home emotional teaching.

8. Encourage your child to play sports or get involved in after-school activities. Both of these help them relate to others.

9. Avoid engaging in behavior you don't want your child to imitate. It's important not be verbally harsh when you're angry. Try saying, "It upsets me when you do X," rather than "You drive me crazy." The problem is his behavior, not who he is. Be careful to avoid mean or sarcastic remarks and excessive criticism, which chip away at a child's self-confidence.At this stage, children often show their independence by being disrespectful and sassy. Don't take the remarks personally, but do set limits and enforce them, and always tell your kids when they hurt your feelings.

10. Avoid siding with "the enemy." When teachers or other authority figures are insensitive, children often seek sympathy from their parents. Be sure to find out what happened before you make judgments.

Mexico!

The Great Purim Easter Egg Hunt

We've been preparing the kids for our Mexican cruise (tons of kids! swimming! fun on the beach! endless activities!) but I was surprised when Elliot's interest spiked about the prospect of eating nightly in a formal dining room, "Mom please, please will you buy me a tuxedo?" I bought Elliot a black suit and when we got home he requested that we stick a white handkerchief in his pocket as well as a carnation. My dapper son.

On Thursday night Dan and Elliot went to temple to hear the reading of the Megillah to celebrate Purim. Elliot wore his new suit and crazy hat (which he later took off even though everyone else was in costume). He had fun running around with the kids from his Hebrew school class. Elliot what is Purim about? "I don't know, I was busy playing with the kids."

On Saturday, we drove by Cowen Park which was blanketed with pastel plastic eggs and flanked by two huge inflatables. When we got home, the boys next door told us they were going to the egg hunt, so we decided to pop over there as well. Of course there were hundreds of children at the egg hunt. The boys shoveled eggs into their Halloween bags without knowing why they were picking up eggs. Asher was shocked when he discovered chocolate in his egg, "Look what I found Mom!" Elliot had collected a pound of candy. When we got home we tossed out half the candy, but let the boys have a sugar orgy anyway.

Family Films

In 1976, my mom took me to see Freaky Friday at the Picwood Theatre (I must have been 5), the mother/daughter storyline thrilled me and I was completely blown away by the big screen / big theater experience. Elliot has seen a few movies in the theater over the past few years, but Asher who could care less about TV (The Wild Thornberrys Movie is his sole exception) had never seen a big screen movie. We took the boys to see Alvin and the Chipmunks in December and the outing was a huge success. Asher sat through the whole movie. Both kids loved the chipmunk music and laughed continuously; my expectations were low, but I actually enjoyed it a little.

We were excited to see the Dr. Seuss movie Horton Hears a Who, which just released this weekend, so we swept the gang over to the theater this rainy afternoon expecting a repeat of the Chipmunks coup. However, Asher was not amused. The animation held little draw for him and he shouted, "When is this movie going to be over?" about ten minutes into the movie. So Danny ended up buying two bags popcorn throughout the movie to entertain Asher and escorted him out of the theater when he forgot his quiet voice. Good times! But Asher was right, the film was awful. The story was hard to follow, it was talky, unfunny and full of smirky pop culture references. It was boring. Even Elliot thought it was dull. Too bad, the story has a good heart, much more integrity than the chipmunks movie.