Saturday, December 01, 2007

The Brief, Fantastical Life of Elliot B. Thus Far (a pseudo autobiography)

I live in Seattle on North 60th street in Tangletown. I was born in 1983. I was a tailor and I sewed clothes. I won a prize for making the best clothes. Instead of money people gave us cloth for clothes, a couple of soldiers came around and took my mom's crown. We had the best dog, like Clifford but cooler. We look on the wall for photos of our dogs. In 1983 our dog died. Now we have a new dog, we don't have to feed him much, he's like a robo pet.

My favorite thing is when my friends are nice to me and when my parents give me things I like. My favorite thing is when everyone respects me. I like hot chocolate, animal crackers, cous cous and melted cheese, carrots and celery. I like exploring outside. I like exploring my brother's tomb, it has diamonds and rubies in it.

When I was a baby, my big brother kept pushing me and my mom called the police. Then he started being my favorite brother. We played games together. He gave me snacks from his lunch. When I was 13 he started doing things that were really bad. In 1983 he went to jail. We saw him breaking windows and stealing money. He was so strong as a grown up he broke the bars in jail. In 1986 he died. Now and then I wish I could go back in time to make my brother nicer. Now that I'm a grown up I don't have to think about these things because I have a nice family and caring friends.

When I was two years old, I started learning how to read and write. Now and then I think about our dog Flag.

When I was three years old, I started making friends. Although I was a little too silly. One time I came into school and my pants fell down. The lunch lady had to sew my pants back together again. My friends still liked me. We try to play together, but sometimes we're doing other works. We play games like breaking pebbles, when it's color time we color the stones into dream creatures. It has any kind of power you want it to have. Only one dream creature has all the power together. If you win the battle you get to have the dream creature.

When I was four years old the girls weren't nice, they called me names at lunch time. Now all the kids at school are friends with me. Now and then we play. We don't always agree about the same things. I really like playing with nice children. One time at lunchtime. A friend gave me his favorite cookie and I gave him my cookie. He's my only friend who likes the same things as me. Sometimes we do things that are bad like take your mothers keys and go to the park without permission. The teacher gave me a job to be a helper in the class. After the teacher died in 1987, I started teaching for her. I gave snacks to all the kids. But that opportunity is done now.

As for my personality, I am a very cool kid, I am very smart and I learn a lot. I mostly look at non-fiction library books about animals, monkey, airplanes, vikings, romans, and knights. My friend Elliot P. is the best drawer in the class. We have a club called the smart club and we learn about things. Everyday at recess, we dig a pit and put all of our library books in it. We seek information. We listen to different tunes in the sky. We learned about how fast the speed of sound goes. Sometimes people call us big brain, we've got smarter brains than other kids. I know how it feels when that happens to you. What I'm trying to say is, if you want to see me go to and you can learn about me. Just make sure you too like history. We try to encourage kids to learn.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Sorry, I'm not trying to spam you but I didn't know of any other way to contact you. I'm the webmaster at and we're holding a contest for bloggers. All you have to is make a post and add a link back to our website for the chance to win furniture. All the details can be found at: